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19,142 Posts
Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories
on how they died.

1st sistah; I froze to death.
2nd sistah : How horrible!

1st sistah: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began
to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd sistah: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband
was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I
found him all by
himself in the den watching TV.

1st Sistah: so what happened?

2nd sistah: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I
started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and
searched,and down intothe basement. Then I went through every closet and
checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere,
and finally i became so exhausted
that I just keeled over with an heart attack and died.

1st sistah: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer- we'd both still be


A ******* buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to
Mobile, Alabama to claim it and the man verifies his ticket
number. The ******* says, "I want my $20 million."

The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give
you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out
for the next 19 years."

The ******* said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I
won it and I want it."

Again, the man explain that he would only get a million that
day and the rest during the next 19 years.

The *******, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want
my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right
now, then I want my dollar back!"

G'Dam Mudda Fokka
3,217 Posts
That first one's been said before... the second one... never heard it, but its .... no comment...

GOOD JOB! They were both funny...
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