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5 TIME CHAMPS
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19,142 Posts
Two women are new arrivals at the pearly gates and are comparing stories
on how they died.

1st sistah; I froze to death.
2nd sistah : How horrible!

1st sistah: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began
to get warm and sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?

2nd sistah: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband
was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I
found him all by
himself in the den watching TV.

1st Sistah: so what happened?

2nd sistah: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I
started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and
searched,and down intothe basement. Then I went through every closet and
checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere,
and finally i became so exhausted
that I just keeled over with an heart attack and died.

1st sistah: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer- we'd both still be
alive.

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A ******* buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to
Mobile, Alabama to claim it and the man verifies his ticket
number. The ******* says, "I want my $20 million."

The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give
you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out
for the next 19 years."

The ******* said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I
won it and I want it."

Again, the man explain that he would only get a million that
day and the rest during the next 19 years.

The *******, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want
my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right
now, then I want my dollar back!"
 

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G'Dam Mudda Fokka
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3,217 Posts
That first one's been said before... the second one... never heard it, but its .... no comment...

GOOD JOB! They were both funny...
 
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