Strange laws still on the books
By JIM PARKS
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Laws are a grand and good thing, and it is laws that create and govern civilization as we know it. However, some laws can only be referred to as just plain stupid. You have to wonder what legislators who created some of these laws were thinking or what substance they were under the influence of in enacting some laws.
For instance, are you aware that in Alabama it is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle? Kind of a new twist on the game of "chicken," I suppose. In California, it is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. Take note spotlighters!
In Florida, women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer. Watch those catnaps, ladies! Another Florida law prohibits having sexual relations with a porcupine. I don't even want to think about what situation caused this law to hit the books. Also in Florida, men may not be seen publicly in a strapless gown. A very good law!
Louisiana has a law on the books making it illegal to rob a bank and then shoot the teller with a water pistol. Does that mean it is legal to rob a bank and not shoot the teller with the water pistol? A very strict law in New York makes death the penalty for jumping off a building. What happens if you get pushed? Ohioans seem to have a special love for fish as it is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. It is also illegal to get a fish drunk in Ohio.
If you travel to Texas be sure that you do not shoot a buffalo from the second story of your hotel. You can be arrested. Texas recently enacted a new anticrime law requiring criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. Therefore, if you intend to murder someone in Texas you must give them notice and explain how you intend to carry out your plan.
Virginia also has its share of dumb laws on the state level as well as in a few of its cities. In the state of Virginia it is illegal to tickle women. Remember that one. Also in Virginia children are not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween. I guess we know how often that one is enforced. In Culpeper you may not wash your mule on the sidewalk. Take those bad boys to the local brushless mulewash instead! In Lebanon, Va., it is illegal to kick your wife out of bed. How about your husband?
Norfolk has a couple of excellent laws on the books. For instance, spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated. How exactly does one spit on a seagull? Also in Norfolk, women must wear a corsette after sundown and be in the company of a male chaperone.
Waynesboro had what could arguably be called one of the best laws in the state. Unfortunately, it was repealed. Until recently, in Waynesboro, it was illegal for a woman to drive a car up Main Street unless her husband is walking in front of the car waving a red flag.
The important thing to remember about laws is that most lawmakers are lawyers. Read the above again and think about that the next time you need one
By JIM PARKS
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Laws are a grand and good thing, and it is laws that create and govern civilization as we know it. However, some laws can only be referred to as just plain stupid. You have to wonder what legislators who created some of these laws were thinking or what substance they were under the influence of in enacting some laws.
For instance, are you aware that in Alabama it is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle? Kind of a new twist on the game of "chicken," I suppose. In California, it is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale. Take note spotlighters!
In Florida, women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer. Watch those catnaps, ladies! Another Florida law prohibits having sexual relations with a porcupine. I don't even want to think about what situation caused this law to hit the books. Also in Florida, men may not be seen publicly in a strapless gown. A very good law!
Louisiana has a law on the books making it illegal to rob a bank and then shoot the teller with a water pistol. Does that mean it is legal to rob a bank and not shoot the teller with the water pistol? A very strict law in New York makes death the penalty for jumping off a building. What happens if you get pushed? Ohioans seem to have a special love for fish as it is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday. It is also illegal to get a fish drunk in Ohio.
If you travel to Texas be sure that you do not shoot a buffalo from the second story of your hotel. You can be arrested. Texas recently enacted a new anticrime law requiring criminals to give their victims 24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature of the crime to be committed. Therefore, if you intend to murder someone in Texas you must give them notice and explain how you intend to carry out your plan.
Virginia also has its share of dumb laws on the state level as well as in a few of its cities. In the state of Virginia it is illegal to tickle women. Remember that one. Also in Virginia children are not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween. I guess we know how often that one is enforced. In Culpeper you may not wash your mule on the sidewalk. Take those bad boys to the local brushless mulewash instead! In Lebanon, Va., it is illegal to kick your wife out of bed. How about your husband?
Norfolk has a couple of excellent laws on the books. For instance, spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated. How exactly does one spit on a seagull? Also in Norfolk, women must wear a corsette after sundown and be in the company of a male chaperone.
Waynesboro had what could arguably be called one of the best laws in the state. Unfortunately, it was repealed. Until recently, in Waynesboro, it was illegal for a woman to drive a car up Main Street unless her husband is walking in front of the car waving a red flag.
The important thing to remember about laws is that most lawmakers are lawyers. Read the above again and think about that the next time you need one
