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I have a school project do , and I want to be the evil little bastard iam known to be, so I need your help...

A while ago I got an email pertaining to the work place where it used acronyms to describe a certain persons position in the company A.S.S.H.O.L.E. and so on where every letter was the beginning of their job title name

Corprate
Relations
Assessment
Personel

and so on,,, does anyone have this joke email page with all the acronyms on it for me...

It would be greatly appreciated , btw I am in 3rd year of college so dont think I am in elementary schgool and cant handle it,

thanx to everyone
sincerly
PatrickR
 

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G'Dam Mudda Fokka
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you didn't find it by doing a search on the internet? that's where all the emails originate from.
 

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"Nitro"
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Forked_Tongue said:
I have a school project do , and I want to be the evil little bastard iam known to be, so I need your help...

A while ago I got an email pertaining to the work place where it used acronyms to describe a certain persons position in the company A.S.S.H.O.L.E. and so on where every letter was the beginning of their job title name

Corprate
Relations
Assessment
Personel

and so on,,, does anyone have this joke email page with all the acronyms on it for me...

It would be greatly appreciated , btw I am in 3rd year of college so dont think I am in elementary schgool and cant handle it,

thanx to everyone
sincerly
PatrickR
I have a really good one, ill see if I can find the paper in the morning.
 

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I Have No Fish but I Have Japanese Girls On My Ava
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Ill help check too. I know I have a bunch of garbage e-mail with such. Ill e-mail it to you if I have in my box.
 

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I Have No Fish but I Have Japanese Girls On My Ava
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18,487 Posts
Forked_Tongue said:
Has anyone found it yet?
Sorry Forked.. I must've wipe it off. Why dont you go through search engines in Yahoo or Jeeves? I'd help, but I dont know what keywords to use. Good Luck man!!
 

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"Nitro"
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ok here it is:
(put you works name here)
a memo from corpopate headquarters

as a result of the finacial status of the company immediate steps are being implemented to reduce the number of personnal on the payroll.

it is our intention to reduce the number of older employes and retain the younger lower paid employees throughout the company.

this program to phase out our older personnel through early retirement will be known as R.A.P.E. (retire aged people early)

employees who are RAPED will also be given the opportunity to look for other jobs outside the company. also if they are being RAPED they can request review of thier employment records before actual retirement. this phase of the program is called S.C.R.E.W.ED. (survey of capabilities of retired early workers)

all employees who have been RAPED and SCREWED my file an appeal with upper management. this will be called S.H.A.F.T. (study by the higher authority following termination)

under terms of the new policy,employees may be RAPED ONCE, SCREWED twice but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company deems it appropriate.

if an employee follows the above procedures,he/she will be entitled to get H.E.R.P.E.S. (half earnings for retired personnel for early severance) since HERPES is concedered a benefit of the plan,any employee who has recived HERPES will no longer be RAPED or SCREWED.

the company wishes to assure the younger employees who remain that it continue its policy to ensure that employees are well trained thrugh S.H.I.T. (special high intensity training) program. this firm takes pride in the amount of sh*t our employees recive. we have given our employees more sh*t than any other firm in the world.however, f any employee feels that he/she does not recive enough sh*t on the job,see your immediate supervisor. your supervisor is specially trained to make sure you receive all the sh*t you can stand.
 

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G'Dam Mudda Fokka
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that's what he needed?? my friend had that printed out, dont know where he got it though. it is funny stuff though... parts of it true...
 

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I Have No Fish but I Have Japanese Girls On My Ava
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KumbiaQueens said:
that's what he needed?? my friend had that printed out, dont know where he got it though. it is funny stuff though... parts of it true...
Dang.. you had that all along and you didnt help out??
And here I am trying to find it through search engine.
jk

Good find Nitro!!
Pretty funnie too!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I dont remember it like that, there must be another similar one out there that is more of what i need but I am forever greatful that you would even take the time and energy to look for it for me

THANK YOU nitro
 
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