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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Every human being is addicted to something, do you agree? Be it a dream, a woman, a man, a car, a job, a fantasy..whatever it is. What is your addiction? And being addicted to it, where do you stand? Have you captured it? Are you still striving for it or have you lost it? Are you happy? Desperate or in pain?

My addiction is my dream / goal of who / how I am determined to be in life as well as the woman I Love...I have lost her due to some problems.

So where I am standing today is I am striving for my dream, desperate as well as being in pain. My life feels so cold and lost at the moment, it's hard to concentrate on getting back to my work out schedule and join the martial art class I wanted. I would have to prepare for my exam in May as well...I know I need to fight the pain away, I cannot let it control me...I wish I could just force my hand into my chest, grab it and pull it off....when you fell in Love, with the words you shared, with the dreams you created together...never would you have believed it would all be over...
 

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been there, guy.. it does suck pretty hard to wake up and realize you've lost your " mate" the one your so comfortable with you dont feel like getting like that with someone else.. TIME is the only thing that will help you and right now i bet it's going slower than you thought it ever could. be tough, stay occupied , DONT DWELL ON THE PAST... whats done is done and you can only learn and improve yourselffrom any past mistakes. If its meant to be , she'll see your improvements and give you another shot. YOU HAVE TO BE TRUE AND SINCERE otherwise your wasting both of each others time. You will survive and come out tougher and wiser because if it. good luck. and best wishes. sorry its around the holiday. that compounds things considerably.. chin up, potna.. you'll be aight..
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
been there, guy.. it does suck pretty hard to wake up and realize you've lost your " mate" the one your so comfortable with you dont feel like getting like that with someone else.. TIME is the only thing that will help you and right now i bet it's going slower than you thought it ever could. be tough, stay occupied , DONT DWELL ON THE PAST... whats done is done and you can only learn and improve yourself from any past mistakes. If its meant to be , she'll see your improvements and give you another shot. YOU HAVE TO BE TRUE AND SINCERE otherwise your wasting both of each others time. You will survive and come out tougher and wiser because if it. good luck. and best wishes. sorry its around the holiday. that compounds things considerably.. chin up, potna.. you'll be aight..
Thank you for your advise, it means a lot...but what made you think it's my mistake?
She's so sensitive, so am I...but words that I never meant as harsh is taken as arguments...and I am accused for arguing, and sometimes I would keep so much inside me ( suppressed ) only to get angry and snap by saying how I am hurt...

Her son passed away, it changed the whole story...I became a friend...then considered again...but as it hurt me, as I started expressing myself, I was taken as arguing...it destroyed it all..finally I said I couldn't do it, she has changed from the loss, I mean imagine your child gone...your life would never be the same...and me still with the Love, passion, desire, hunger...I was willing to hold on until I was kept being pushed to move on with my life, with the arguments being an addition to her decision...I didn't want to...finally I couldn't bear the pain and told her I needed to go, I couldn't bear the growing distance as my Love and passion remained the same..I want the pain to go.......

There you go I just shared what happened roughly..you get the picture...*sighs* it's over...I feel so stagnant...I cannot move..that pain~!...still Love her of course, can't take her off my mind. Sorry for my whining...needed to open up..
 

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my apologies.. it was my assumption you were instrumental in the seperation. the reason being is I was the contributing factor to my relationships "demise" and i felt immediate empathy. I am by no means someone who's word you must heed, but i can relate to your current state of mind. The frustrating thing for me was she consumed every other thought for a long time. I finally felt like i've been in this emotional state for entirely too long and it's time for change.It hurt too damn much. we all deal with these situations differently and had I the stones to talk/ "get it out" to someone , like you have i'm certain it wouldnt lasted as long. That keeping it inside will get you every time. I was very passive aggressive and I would finally detonate.Now I can talk about how things frustrate me instead of arguing about them. Kickin' it with your tightest friends is what you need. they'll keep you pretty occupied and it'll help you more than you think. If you really feel she's one you'd put some time in on, tell her how you feel and that you'll be around when she needs you. i know that sounds kinda p*ssy-ish, but in the mean time, your expected to LIVE. enjoy your time to do whatever the hell you want! Sorry if none of this helped or even annoyed you, i just wanted to give you props for being able to vent like that to these cats , here. I really hope all turns out for the better , for you. Good luck, dude..
 

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been there, guy.. it does suck pretty hard to wake up and realize you've lost your " mate" the one your so comfortable with you dont feel like getting like that with someone else.. TIME is the only thing that will help you and right now i bet it's going slower than you thought it ever could. be tough, stay occupied , DONT DWELL ON THE PAST... whats done is done and you can only learn and improve yourself from any past mistakes. If its meant to be , she'll see your improvements and give you another shot. YOU HAVE TO BE TRUE AND SINCERE otherwise your wasting both of each others time. You will survive and come out tougher and wiser because if it. good luck. and best wishes. sorry its around the holiday. that compounds things considerably.. chin up, potna.. you'll be aight..
Thank you for your advise, it means a lot...but what made you think it's my mistake?
She's so sensitive, so am I...but words that I never meant as harsh is taken as arguments...and I am accused for arguing, and sometimes I would keep so much inside me ( suppressed ) only to get angry and snap by saying how I am hurt...

Her son passed away, it changed the whole story...I became a friend...then considered again...but as it hurt me, as I started expressing myself, I was taken as arguing...it destroyed it all..finally I said I couldn't do it, she has changed from the loss, I mean imagine your child gone...your life would never be the same...and me still with the Love, passion, desire, hunger...I was willing to hold on until I was kept being pushed to move on with my life, with the arguments being an addition to her decision...I didn't want to...finally I couldn't bear the pain and told her I needed to go, I couldn't bear the growing distance as my Love and passion remained the same..I want the pain to go.......

There you go I just shared what happened roughly..you get the picture...*sighs* it's over...I feel so stagnant...I cannot move..that pain~!...still Love her of course, can't take her off my mind. Sorry for my whining...needed to open up.. [/quote]

All of us have felt the pain you are feeling and it is real and palpable....Terrible. My advice is that life is wonderful and worth living and although you can't see past this now, I assure you that time does heal these wounds. Take some time to yourself but then spend time with friends or loved ones. Let me/us know if you ever need to talk or just vent.

Hang in there!

MD
 

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Emo
 

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I've noticed your posts are often very long and involved, requiring my attention span not to waver in the course of getting through it all. Not to mention you chose to separate yourself from others by using a different font face than the default... How individualistic of you.

In the end - I don't know what this thread is about beyond dealing with addictions and you wanting to get back with some chick you messed it up with. But good luck with that. And don't do crack. Or meth... especially not together.
 

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metlle go back to the happy hollidays thread. just your posts there are longer than this thread by itself.
dont see why you should put silence down in this one. anywhays..

this song helped me thrugh a rough(emo) breakup a couple of years ago...
 

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metlle go back to the happy hollidays thread. just your posts there are longer than this thread by itself.
dont see why you should put silence down in this one. anywhays..
I got...

Hairstyle Eyebrow Jheri curl Hat Poster
 

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man i did not see that coming.. now theres coffee everywhere...
 

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my apologies.. it was my assumption you were instrumental in the seperation. the reason being is I was the contributing factor to my relationships "demise" and i felt immediate empathy. I am by no means someone who's word you must heed, but i can relate to your current state of mind. The frustrating thing for me was she consumed every other thought for a long time. I finally felt like i've been in this emotional state for entirely too long and it's time for change.It hurt too damn much. we all deal with these situations differently and had I the stones to talk/ "get it out" to someone , like you have i'm certain it wouldnt lasted as long. That keeping it inside will get you every time. I was very passive aggressive and I would finally detonate.Now I can talk about how things frustrate me instead of arguing about them. Kickin' it with your tightest friends is what you need. they'll keep you pretty occupied and it'll help you more than you think. If you really feel she's one you'd put some time in on, tell her how you feel and that you'll be around when she needs you. i know that sounds kinda p*ssy-ish, but in the mean time, your expected to LIVE. enjoy your time to do whatever the hell you want! Sorry if none of this helped or even annoyed you, i just wanted to give you props for being able to vent like that to these cats , here. I really hope all turns out for the better , for you. Good luck, dude..
Nah you're cool, I understand..no problem and I am sorry to hear about your problem. So you never got back with her, it hurts to realize that I am in silence...that I won't hear from her, especially with her anger maybe, ego maybe..I don't know..or maybe I will, a message to say that she hopes I am ok...feels like I won't hear anything. And I don't feel like saying anything because I do not know what to say, I do not wish to talk about it..it causes such headache, this could be her reason too...she probably feels I cannot understand her, cannot accept who she is today as she has lost her child...that's not true, but that's how she would feel...I am definitely another unpleasant guy in her life...no doubt another disappointment to her...

The last thing I told her was ,"I wish I knew all the words we shared were meant for nothing," and then started telling myself why did I have to say that...I got angry, it's crazy to talk and go through all the things you have together and then suddenly talk like somebody else! ahh it pressures me...she's gone! I cannot believe it...better alone than loved. It all ends...why should I believe then...I Love her too damn much that whenever I fantasize about sex, she's the woman! other woman I don't feel! or at least it's her body with blurry face....I am so angry that I feel like yelling at her," WHYYYYYY????!!!!!!!" I know I pressured her too, she wanted me as a friend...but I never changed, my Love, my passion, my dreams...still I accepted, but being pushed to move on with my life, saying how the argument is also a reason to her decision showing that I...I have disappointed her!..what did I do?! It's not like I cheated on her, lied to her, always been honest...so it got me angry!
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
metlle go back to the happy hollidays thread. just your posts there are longer than this thread by itself.
dont see why you should put silence down in this one. anywhays..

this song helped me thrugh a rough(emo) breakup a couple of years ago...
Thank you for defending me C0Rey, but I can't view the song. Sorry to hear about your breakup though..thanks again man. Stallowned
 
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