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Indianapolis Football
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>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE ONE
>
>Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where
>did you get such a great bike?"
>
>The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding
>my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the
>bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you
>want."
>
>The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably
>wouldn't have fit."
>
>
>
>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE TWO
>
>To the optimist, the glass is half full.
>
>To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
>
>To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
>
>
>
>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE THREE
>
>A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
>particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these
>guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
>
>The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
>
>The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with
>him. Hi George! Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather
>slow, aren't they?"
>
>The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire-fighters.
>They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
>always let them play for free anytime."
>
>The group was silent for a moment, then the pastor said, "That's so sad. I
>think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
>
>The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
>buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
>
>The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
>
>
>
>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE FOUR
>
>What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
>
>Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
>
>
>
>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE FIVE
>
>The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
>
>The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
>
>The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
>
>The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
>
>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE SIX
>
>Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
>designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just
>look at all the joints."
>
>Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has
>many thousands of electrical connections.
>
>The last one said, "Actually it must have been a civil engineer. Who else
>would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
>
>
>
>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE SEVEN
>
>Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers
>believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
>
>
>
>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE EIGHT
>
>An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
>better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
>enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring
>relationship.
>
>The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion and
>mystery he found there.
>
>The engineer said, "I like both"
>
>"Both?"
>
>Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume
>you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and
>get some work done."
>
>
>
>UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE NINE
>
>An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and
>said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over,
>picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.The frog spoke up again and
>said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will
>stay with you for one week."
>
>The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it
>to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back
>into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."
>
>Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his
>pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
>beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything
>you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
>
>The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girl
>friend, but a talking frog, now that's way cool."
>
 

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GOOD STUFF!!!

I printed it out and hung it up for the other engineers to see!!

I am a broadcast engineer BTW
 

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Indianapolis Football
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Enriqo_Suavez said:
Ha...
[snapback]844016[/snapback]​
Holy sh*t, that's a real billboard, isn't it ?
 

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Very funny

Even if I finish my bac in mech eng in april (look like I'm not the only one
)
Chouin
 

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Here's some more:
DOCTORS
Supposedly, all women are after a Doctor, so don't expect your relationship
to last more than 5 years. Eventually, he'll run off with some nurse from
his office, or one of his young women patients that is pretending to be
sick. He'll wait until you are stuck with a few kids to do this.

This is not a problem with your Engineer husband. He had a hard enough time
meeting you. It is unlikely he'll ever meet another woman in his profession.

LAWYER
Do you seriously expect an honest, trusting relationship with someone who
gets paid for lying?

Once again, this is not a problem with your Engineer spouse. He doesn't have
enough social skills to lie convincingly. An additional drawback to marrying
a lawyer is when the divorce happens you will get nothing.

SALESMAN
See honesty segment under Lawyer. Plus, he will be travelling to trade
shows, etc. where he will be in the company of other equally trustworthy
individuals. Don't be surprised when you get the invitation to show up on
the Jerry Springer show.

The company that your Engineer husband works at will keep him in a cage,
often called a cubicle, until he is ready to go home to you.

TEACHER
The only reason he entered this profession is so that he could be surrounded
by newly post-pubescent girls who idolize him. He'll be in jail soon, and
then you'll have to look for another man.

HAZARDOUS PROFESSIONS, I.E. FIREFIGHTER, CONSTRUCTION WORKER, ETC. Your
husband, if he is not dead by some accident, will likely be crippled with a
back injury, etc. just about the time you are at your sexual peak.

The only hazards that your Engineer husband will face is losing his eyesight
by staring at the computer terminal for too long. This hazard actually has
some benefits. For one, he will not notice that you are getting older, since
you will be a blur. He will remember you as when he first met you, because
the memory will still be sharp. And if you think he is looking at another
woman, and you ask "Honey, were you looking at her?", he'll honestly be able
to say that he didn't even see her.

TOP REASONS TO DATE AN ENGINEER
1. The world does revolve around us... we chose the coordinate system. 2. No
"couple" enjoys a better "moment". 3. We know how to handle "stress" and
"strain" in a relationship. 4. We have significant figures. 5. We have taken
a course on the motion of rigid bodies. 6. According to Newton, if two
bodies interact, their forces are equal and opposite.

On another note, until today the only modelling program i have used was autocad. I downloaded Inventor and WOW, it kicks autocad's ass.
 

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TOP REASONS TO DATE AN ENGINEER
1. The world does revolve around us... we chose the coordinate system. 2. No
"couple" enjoys a better "moment". 3. We know how to handle "stress" and
"strain" in a relationship. 4. We have significant figures. 5. We have taken
a course on the motion of rigid bodies. 6. According to Newton, if two
bodies interact, their forces are equal and opposite.
jonscilz said:
great jokes... i chuckled at #2 from top reasons to date an engineer for a good 15 seconds... ahhh statics
... 2 years left for my bachelors in biomedical engineering from rutgers u.

[snapback]845171[/snapback]​
Haha, kickass!! 2 years left for MY bachelors in bio-medical engineering too! From Rose-Hulman.
 
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