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.pocketful of sunshine.
16,830 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·

"Never trust a dog to watch your food."
-Patrick, age 10

"When your dad is mad and asks you,
"Do I look stupid?' Don't answer."
-Hannah, age 9

"Never tell your Mom her diet's not working."
-Michael, age 14

"Stay away from prunes."
-Randy, age 9

"Don't pull Dad's finger when he tells you to." -Emily, age 10

"When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let
her brush your hair." -Taylia, age 11

"Never let your three-year old brother in
the same room as your school assignment."
-Traci, age 14

"A puppy always has bad breath--even after
eating a Tic-Tac." - Andrew, age 9

"Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the
same time." - Kyoyo, age 11

"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a
glass of milk." -Amir, age 9

"Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white
shorts." -Kellie, age 11

"If you want a kitten, start out by asking
for a horse." -Naomi, age 15

"Felt-tip markers are not good to use as
lipstick." -Lauren, age 9

"Don't pick on your sister when she's
holding a baseball bat." -Joel, age 10

"When you get a bad grade in school, show it
to your Mom when she's on the phone."
-Alyesha, age 13

"Never try to baptize a cat." -Eileen, age 8

29 Posts
Nattereri,dont want to steal your limelight,lol,heres some i found

These questions about Australia were (allegedly!) posted on an Australian Tourism Website and obviously the answers came from a fellow Aussie. Amusing especially the Vienna Boys' Choir one.

1. Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

2. Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking

3. Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water...

4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia? (Sweden)
A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names & addresses of places to contact for a stuffed porpoise. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?(USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific which does not... oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

8. Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

10.Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

11. Q: Do you have perfume in Australia? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.

12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?

14. Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

15. Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

16. Q: Are there killer bees in Australia? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, we'll import them.

17. Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

18. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

19. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

20. Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

21. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.

.pocketful of sunshine.
16,830 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanx a lot SNAP...Ive lost my limelight...heheh just kidding...
Those were pretty funny.

.pocketful of sunshine.
16,830 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
:laugh: Yeah, theyve been in my inbox for over 2 years now...and I just happen to come across it the other day.

.pocketful of sunshine.
16,830 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
pfanej said:
that is funny where did you get that from
Which ones?! Mine personally came from my inbox when KumbiaQueens sent it to me 2 years ago.
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